Why am i terrified of public speaking

We scan the room — trying to look everyone at once — and end up connecting with nobody. In reality, each person in the room is listening to you as an individual.

And so the best way to connect to your audience is by speaking to them as individuals. By making sustained eye contact with one person per thought. Each thought is about one full clause. By focusing at one person at a time, you make each person in the room feel like you are talking just to them. This is hard. We are accustomed to scanning the room. Making direct eye contact can feel uncomfortable at first. Yet, as you practice it more, it will actually make you less nervous.

It is far easier and more effective to have a series of one-on-one conversations than it is to speak to everyone at once. When my clients use this technique more than three consecutive times, they almost always report a decrease in speaking anxiety. Note that the most important people to look at are those who are at the far edges of the room.

These are the people who are already at a disadvantage. By being extra generous to those at the edges of the room, you bring everyone in. We know the power of generosity to give us a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and meaning.

Generosity is just as powerful in speaking. It turns a nerve-wracking and even painful experience into one of giving and helping others.

A generous speaker is calmer, more relaxed, and — most important — more effective at reaching the audience and making the desired impact. You have 1 free article s left this month. You are reading your last free article for this month. Subscribe for unlimited access. Create an account to read 2 more. Presentation skills. Tips for before and during your presentation.

Read more on Presentation skills. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. This content does not have an English version. This content does not have an Arabic version. See more conditions. Request Appointment. Fear of public speaking: How can I overcome it?

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Show references Social anxiety disorder social phobia. Arlington, Va. Accessed April 18, Toastmasters International.

Stein MB, et al. Academic researchers hypothesize that this intense fear of public speaking comes from evolution. In the past, when humans were threatened by large predators, living as a group was a basic survival skill, and ostracism or separation of any kind would certainly mean death.

This may have evolved into the fear of public speaking — and it makes sense. What situation embodies that kind of separation more than standing all alone in front of a room full of people? On a deep level, people are afraid their audience will reject them. Another theory states that when we enter a state of social anxiety, which is common in public speaking, our ability to pick up on angry faces is heightened.

In order to elicit anxiety, Wieser told some of the participants they would have to give a speech. The anxious participants were significantly more sensitive to the angry images than to happy or neutral ones, but the rest of the participants did not exhibit the same bias. It is common knowledge that nervous speakers experience sweaty palms and dry mouth, and often struggle to get their words out.

But what do audiences actually perceive, and how can we make sure we appear cool and confident?